Remember

     I just realized something today that I had always know but never really understood - this body is not me, my body does not belong to myself.

     I'm at my great-grandma's cabin in the Upper Peninsula with my family and one of my friends and I have unfortunately been focusing on what I have been eating for most of this week. I was questioning God this afternoon. "Why did I have to have an eating disorder? Why me? Why does this have to be so hard and last so long? This will probably be something that I will struggle with for most of my life. Couldn't I serve You better if I didn't have this problem?"

     Whenever I start questioning God and go at it for a little while I realize that I'm not letting Him get any words in, so I shut up. I can't hear God audibly, but I do hear Him through Truth. If I let myself hear the truth and pay attention to it, I hear God. Because truth is God's language. "Molly, you are my child. And I am the Almighty God. Do you really think that I would have given you this thorn if it were not for some purpose? I love you." "Molly, I made you. You have no reason to fear about how your body looks, some fat on your belly or not. Your body isn't you. You have seen what men look like when they have died. You have seen it in you brother's friend, Gerrit, and you have seen it in your Memere. They are not there. Who you are is your spirit, your soul, your personality, your mind. Even if your body was wrecked beyond all recognition, you would still be you." "I am the One who gives life, Molly. I made your body, so it really belongs to me. I'm letting you borrow it, please take care of it and use it to glorify me to the best of its ability, and I will bless your work."

     I came to the library sort of stressed out. I decided to write what I had heard today so that I could remember. It is important to remember what God says to you, because that is the most important conversation you could ever have.